Ok, I made a very bad mistake ... I just slept w/ a not-so-pretty girl who loves Nickelback. I am so fucking embarrassed that I am hoping that the next person who kicks me in the junk will cause me an everlasting pain that I will always subconsciously associate w/ butter faces, jeans bursting at the seams and Chad Kroeger's fucking perm.

Elusive

The old iPod is cranking out some Scott Matthews who is Jeff Buckley's vocal stunt-double, the similiarities are uncanny to say the least. It's like they put a slight British lilt to the voice and it's Jeff in the room again ... alright, away w/ other stuff before I say something exceedingly sappy about Jeff ... so, this is going to be short, although not necessarily sweet as I had dinner w/ a girl recently and here the main section of our sterling conversation ...

Me: So, how's work going these days ?
Girl: Great, great - I really like styling hair, it's give me a real outlet for my creativity you know, because I'm really a creative type of person and everything.
Me: Good to hear.
Girl: Hey, maybe I could do something about your hair, it's got all these white hairs coming out, like "boo !!!", like a ghost jumping out of a closet.
Me: My hair is like Halloween ?
Girl: Kinda. Well, not really. Well, it just looks kind of older, not so twenty-ish, you know ?
Me: Kinda - because I'm not twenty-ish ?
Girl: Really ? Are you kidding because it's not funny. Really ? Because I've got a line, like no guys over 30 !! I mean, I don't want an old fart !!
Me: So, you want a fresh fart ? I mean, that I can handle.

As C-Rex would say, that's what you get when you hang out at the schoolyard all day ... the end.

20 Minutes

Ok, I've been told that I tend to work to the speed of the task regardless of the complexity of said task. For example, if 20 minutes were allotted to a specific task (cleaning a mirror, walking the dog, making 5-minute rice) it was said that I would, inevitably, take until the very last second to complete the task. It was also said that I will often have the audacity to negotiate for more time. So, this obviously means that I need to make more realistic time estimates rather than pad to account for interruptions like Jehovah's at the door (in their defence, the Watchtower does have some awesome lessons in god-related activities). With their comment in mind, I have made a conscious decision to complete this entry in 20 minutes.

Today, I've got the "Because Of The Times" disc from Kings of Leon on repeat on the iPod because 4 family members from Tennessee never sounded so good. Killer backstory, too - I mean, who can beat preacher's kids whom eventually succumb to the virtues of rock music once their father leaves the church ? Seriously, Rolling Stone must have had an insta-boner when the A&R rep dropped that nugget of science on them, I mean the shit practically writes itself ...

Speaking of boners, that leads to a brilliant answer to one of the car-in-traffic question games that I love, "Awesome New Band Name". On a whole, the suggestions are often brutal, but there is the beauty - that words which are often nonsensical when alone let alone paired with various adjectives and pronouns, that these words can come to define a musical sense or worst yet, an identity. I mean, Radiohead makes some seriously heady music and if by chance they had selected another name like Ned's Atomic Dustbin (fuckers were so ambitious that they had two bass players), I actually think that something would no longer seem kosher. Not necessarily that the name would force them to change what type of music they made, but their name just wouldn't be appropriate anymore ...

That said, the latest name was "Morning Wood" and there was consensus that it would work best for an all-female punk band. I hear the smattering of clapping hands, but you can save your applause for later, I won't take offence. I'm almost out of time, but don't worry dear, it's the end ...

FYI - typically, indie Britpop never dies, it just spawns imitators, although the aforementioned ambitious fuckers are still around, http://www.myspace.com/nedsatomicdustbin ...